I've got a number of irrational fears that I'd like to share with you

I had an epiphany while listening to Pinkerton. Not the first time this happened...

Pinkerton was the soundtrack to the Summer of '02. Ah, the glory days. The going away party that ended with a broken ankle, a broken karaoke machine, and me being smacked on the ass by an Asian foreign exchange student. (It was his first American party and you just have to roll with those sorts of things.)

Anyway, since then I have moved across the world, moved across the state, gotten married, got a real job, got health insurance, got a new car, and completely stopped listening to the old music from that part of my life.

With a few exceptions, I stopped listening to Burning Airlines, Braid, Weezer, the Dismemberment Plan, Jawbox and Jets to Brazil. Just. Stopped.

I think it's because I co-opted my taste in music from every stupid guy I dated and my music wasn't my own.

Three years later I would die before listening to the crap my husband likes (no offense baby, I really had fun at the Lambchop concert, I promise). I finally do not need anyone else to define who I am. I am not waiting for my Knight in Shining Armor.

Now when I listen my old music I try to feel the same emotions it used to evoke in me. It makes me feel weird like when you put on someone else's tennis shoes and they're worn in all the wrong places. It just doesn't fit anymore.

Pinkerton is no longer the soundtrack to my life. It's a great album with some great writing and lines like "words and dreams and a million screams" but I will no longer feel the same way about it. Ever.

The music will just have to learn how to deal with the new me.

and I get to fall in love with my favorite bands all over again.